I wish I’d known – the edited version.


I wish I’d known………

If I could go back, years ago, to another time and place. Another life.

I wish I’d known…….

The footsteps I so vigilantly vacuumed off the living room carpet ……. were still growing.

The hand prints I scrubbed from the window glass……. proof of my children’s existence.

The mess I so meticulously and callously cleaned. Forever complaining,

I wish I’d known………

How quickly they’d grow. How fast it would go.

Their tiny hand prints, once so small, now fully grown. Their footprints, larger than mine.

Oh what I wouldn’t give, to see just one smudge, on the clear kitchen glass.

And if I could, I’d stand beside them and add mine too. Proof of our existence. Proof, we are family.

I’d celebrate the indentations on the carpet, understanding how profound those footprints really were. I’d take pictures of them. Each and every step a new possibility.

I wish I’d known……..

You’re never to tired to laugh. To have fun and be silly.

To build precious moments, because soon they are gone.

But we are given many chances. And sometimes we see.

An odd scrap of paper, colored pink. An old stuffed teddy bear, discarded, in the back of the closet. A tiny scuffed pair of shoes. A dog eared piece of paper with the words barely legible. Mommy I love you.

Treasures more precious than money or gold. Tiny fingers and toes. Smudges and footprints. Gifts, waiting in the hamper. Clothes dirtied, worn by the people I loved.

I wish I’d known back then. I really do.

Giggles erupt from the throats of their children. Footprints, leaving behind debris. Pieces of paper framed in glass. Nana we love you. Hand prints smudge on the kitchen glass. I’m on the floor, I’m a truck, a bird, a cuddle monster. My children’s children and I joined. A huddle of silly giggling flesh. We make up stories and pretend. And anything is possible.

Yes, I wish I’d known……

We build a bridge, my grandchildren and I. One that leads back many years. Because it’s never to late, and I hope never to say again,

I wish I’d known……..

Because now I do.

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