I wish I’d known.

I wish I’d known………

If I could go back 20 years, to another time and place. Another life.

I wish I’d known…….

The footsteps I so vigilantly vacumed off the living room carpet were still growing.

The handprints I scrubbed from the window glass……. Proof of my children’s existance. Their lives.

The mess I so meticulously and callously cleaned. Forever complaining.

I wish I’d known………

How quickly they’d grow. How fast it would go.

Their tiny handprints, once so small, now full grown. Their footprints larger than mine.

Oh what I wouldn’t give, to see just one smudge, on the clear kitchen glass.

And if I could, I’d stand beside them and add mine too. Proof of our existance. Proof, we are family.

I’d celebrate the indentations on the carpet. Understanding how profound those footprints really were. I’d take pictures of them. Each and every step a new possibility.

I wish I’d known……..

You’re never to tired to laugh. To have fun and be silly.

To build precious moments because soon they are gone.

But we are given many chances. And sometimes we see. 

An odd scrap of paper colored pink. An old stuffed teddy bear discarded in the back of the closet. A tiny scuffed pair of shoes. A dog earred piece of paper with the words barely legible. Mommy I love you.

Treasures more precious than any gold. Tiny fingers and toes. Smudges and footprints. Gifts, just waiting in the hamper. Clothes dirtied, worn by the people I love.

I wish I’d know back then. I really do.

Giggles erupt from the throats of their children. Footprints, leaving behind debris. Peices of paper framed in glass. Nana I love you. Handprints smudge on the kitchen glass. I’m on the floor, I’m a truck, a bird, a cuddle monster. My children’s children and I joined. A huddle of silly giggling flesh.  We make up stories and pretend. And anything is possible.

Yes, I wish I’d known……

With my granchildren we build a bridge. One that leads back more than twenty years. Because it’s never to late and I hope never to say again,

I wish I’d known……..

Because now I do.



1 thought on “I wish I’d known.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s